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a reassuring look. "Im just the opposite. I fall in love quickly. I like being in relationships. Theyre safe and secure . . . or at least I like to think they are. Sometimes I put up with someones shit for too long just because I dont want to be lonely. Ive been trying out this single thing, but Im not sure I really like it."
We were silent for a second. She looked away for a second and chuckled to herself. "Were quite a pair, arent we?"
I smiled back. My mind flashed back to my last couple of boyfriends.
"Sometimes, I think I like the idea of being in love more than I like the person Im with," I whispered.
"I like the idea of being in love, too . . . I think Im too chickenshit to do it, though." McKayla gave me a rueful smile. "You know that girl we saw the other night? . . . Vicki . . . Shes my usual pattern. We met at a club, hooked up and then went out a few times. Then I started making excuses not to see her."
As her voice trailed off, I felt that little twinge of jealousy in my stomach again. "Why?"
McKayla looked away. "I dont know . . . I think a part of me likes the one night stands . . . I cant get hurt that way."
"Im not the one night stand type," I said, my voice hardening unconsciously.
"Youve never had a one-night stand?"
I just shook my head. That wasnt quite true, but I wasnt about to tell her that. Not then.
She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Look at me . . . Im a mess."
"Youre a beautiful mess," I said softly.
McKayla shot me an appreciative, yet mischievous, smile. "And youre full of shit."
We both took a quick drink, both to avoid having to say anything and to wet our dry mouths.
"Why did you ask me out?" she asked me for the second time.
"Because youre . . . I dont know," I stammered. "Because it seemed right."
"I dont want to break your heart," McKayla warned.
"You dont want to break my heart or you dont want your own broken?"
I could tell a flippant retort was on her lips, but she stopped. I think the words stung her because they hit a little too close to home.
"McKayla," I began. I waited until she had looked up into my eyes. "I dont know what came over me. A part of me thinks that Ive gone off the deep end. Ive never been attracted to another woman, but when I look at you . . . all I can think is that Ive got to be with you."
"I want that, too." I could barely hear her.
Whatever she was going to say next was cut off by the servers bringing our dinner. We waited until everything was on the table and we were alone again.
"You know," she said, "Youre the first
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girl in a long, long time that Ive gone out to dinner with before I went to bed with her."
"I told you before," I replied with a sly smile and a slightly teasing tone, "Im not going to be an easy lay for you, McKayla. Youre going to have to work for me."
It was all I could do not to melt at the gaze she shot me just then. It was a good thing I was already sitting down because my knees got weak. I think if we hadnt been in public, she would have thrown all the plates and glasses to the floor, laid my body out on the table and had her way with me. And I dont think I would have stopped her.
I dont think I could have stopped her.
My pulse had quickened. My breaths came shorter.
"Sweetie," McKayla said finally. "You are so going to be mine."
It wasnt a warning as much as it was a promise.
I smiled inwardly. What she didnt know was that I was already hers.
The rest of the night passed in a blur. I dont remember what else we talked about, but we both managed to get our desires under control. She walked me to my door again.
"Would you like to come in?" I asked her for the second time.
She thought for a minute. "No."
Her response was shocking, to say the least.
"Not tonight," McKayla was clearly torn. I was hurt. Being turned down once was okay. Twice was giving me a complex. She took my hands. "Do you like me?"
"Yes," I replied, disappointment and frustration filling my voice.
"Then you need to decide if this is something you really want."
It was, or at least, I thought it was. Did I? Or was it just lust?
"Believe me," she said. "This is as hard for me as it is for you. If not harder."
I looked her in the eyes and knew she was telling the truth.
"Theres nothing in the world I want more than to make love to you. Right. Now. But I want to give it a try."
"Give what a try?"
"Us." Her voice betrayed a hint of fear. "Im tired of being lonely. Im tired of hook-ups and break-ups. I cant promise anything . . . and youll have to be patient . . ."
My hand went to the back of her neck and I pulled her to me. Our lips met. Hungrily.
I finally let her up for air. Our breathing was laboured.
"Ill make you a deal," I said. "You dont do relationships. I dont do girls. Why dont we teach each other something new?"
Her response was to press me back against the door frame as she put her lips on mine. Our tongues dueled eagerly.
"That is the best idea Ive heard all night." McKayla gave me one final kiss and then pulled away. She reached into her purse and pulled out a business card. She scribbled her address on the back. "Do you remember how to get to my place? Good. Come over
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