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and started pacing around my living room. I could see the indecision in her eyes as the gears turned in her head.
"Have you told him?" McKayla asked. Her voice was curt, but I expected that.
I shook my head.
"What are you going to do?"
"I dont know," I said quietly. All of this was information overload for me, too. "I missed my period last month. But thats not unusual. When I missed this month, I went out and got one of those home pregnancy tests. It came up positive so I went to the doctors today. Its too late for the morning after pill. I can either have the baby or get an abortion."
"You cant have an abortion," McKayla said suddenly. Not that it was her decision to make, but I knew thats not something she would not even put into the mix.
"What are you going to do?" I dared to ask, the tears coming to my eyes. I expected her to be pissed off and storm out. Thats why I gathered up her things. Our relationship had been going so well, but I couldnt ask her to stay with me. Not like this.
She didnt reply immediately. She chewed on her lip nervously. All I could do was hope for the best.
"So this didnt happen after our first date?"
"No, sweetheart." That was my one hope to keep our relationship alive. "I swear to you . . . I havent even spoken to him since you and I went out that first time."
It seemed like an eternity before she moved. McKayla surprised me by turning and heading back into my bedroom. I started to get up off the couch.
"Your stuff is all—" I called, but she was ignoring me.
I heard her throwing some things around. Not angrily, but like she was looking for something. A few minutes later, she came back out. Some of my clothes were stuffed into a duffel bag over her shoulder along with a kit of makeup and some other things.
She dropped the bag on the floor next to the boxes I had packed up.
Then she reached for me. I burst into tears as her embrace enveloped me. All the days emotions came pouring out. Confusion. Helplessness. Bewilderment.
I thought my life had been going pretty well lately. I had a good job, a steady relationship and new friends in a strange town. But now . . . now things were different. I was going to be a mommy. And I wasnt sure how my girlfriend was going to take the news.
It seems I need not have worried.
McKaylas arms steadied me as I sobbed. "Im sorry, baby . . . Im so sorry . . . I didnt mean for this to happen."
"I know," she whispered over and over in my ear. "Its okay . . . Everything is going to be alright."
Eventually, the crying fit was over. I still struggled for breath, but now that it was done, I began to think a little more clearly.
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"I cant ask you to . . ."
"To what, Amberle?" she said. "Stay? You cant raise a child on your own right now, honey. Youre living month to month as it is . . . and then to take six weeks off? You dont have enough vacation time to cover that. And then youll have daycare and another mouth to feed."
I knew all this already. I didnt need to be lectured by her. I was not in a good position, financially or otherwise, to be a single mother. I could make it work. Somehow.
Couldnt I?
"How good is your insurance?" she said, barraging me with questions. "How much does it pay? Whats your deductible? When does your lease end?"
"Why are you asking me this?" I cried out and pulled away from her. "I dont know!"
"Because I love you!" she shouted, sounding just as afraid as I was. There were tears in her eyes, too. "I love you, Amberle. And Im not going to let you get away or kick me out of your life!"
We fell into each others arms.
For the past two months, I had waited to hear those words from her. Some days it was all I could do not to shout my love for this woman from a hilltop somewhere, but I thought it would only scare her away. To hear her tell me that she loved me was the final piece. It told me she was truly and completely ready for whatever the future held.
"I love you, too, McKayla," I couldnt keep it in any longer.
Burying my head in her shoulder, I started to cry again, but she grabbed me by the hair and brought my mouth to hers. It was a few minutes before she let me up for air.
"Now come on, honey. Lets go home," McKayla pulled me to my feet and picked up the duffel bag. "Well cancel your lease and get the rest of your stuff moved later."
"You dont have to do all this," I said. She was taking control and for that I was grateful. The past six hours had left me dazed. How McKayla could have been blindsided and keep a cool head was beyond me.
"Youre right," she replied. "I dont have to. But I want to. And the first thing were going to do is move you and that baby of yours out of this apartment and into a clean house thats away from noisy neighbours and moldy cabinets."
She took my hands in hers. "Amberle, I dont know what to do. Im faking it right now. But I know that I want you in my life. These past two months . . . this is as happy as Ive ever been, and its all because of you. Well . . . well figure the rest out later. Together."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," McKayla whispered. "As long as you want me, Im yours. Baby or no baby. I need you."
"I cant ask you to raise my child," I told her.
"I wont," her
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