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is flawed."
McKayla seemed to know what she was talking about and she drew me in immediately. I felt the conviction of her faith and knew her sincerity. In all my life, I had never devoted much time to thinking about church things; sure I knew a few of the "essential stories", but I hadnt devoted much mental energy to them.
"Choosing to ignore some parts of the Bible doesnt mean we have to throw it all out," she said, gently placing the book back on the desk. "It means we have to discover its larger meaning. For instance, if you listen to the talking heads on TV, youd believe that the entirety of the Bible is devoted to two causes: opposing abortion and homosexuality. But how many verses of the Bible discuss homosexuality?"
"I couldnt tell you," I said, shaking my head.
"Four." McKayla said, taking my hand and leading me back to her living room. "How many are related to poverty?"
"Couldnt tell you that, either."
"Over two thousand. What should that tell us, as Christians?" McKayla asked.
"Homosexuality shouldnt be high up on our priority list." I let her lead me on.
"Exactly," she said. "I dont believe being a lesbian is wrong. I know God made me this way. Its not a choice. Its not something I would have chosen. But its who I am. God would not have made me gay if He didnt want me to be that way."
"What does that say about me?" I whispered. "Ive never thought of myself as being a lesbian . . . but . . . but I like it . . . at least when Im with you."
McKayla reached out and took me in her arms. I felt so comfortable in her embrace. So safe.
"It says that Ive still got my touch," she whispered in my ear, a gentle teasing tone to her voice. "Im so hawt I can make straight girls go gay."
We giggled together and her soft lips pressed against mine.
"Does it feel right to you?" McKayla asked, her voice a little more serious.
"Yes," I breathed.
"Then whats to wonder about?" She leaned in to kiss me a little harder this time. "One of the things I believe about Christs message is that love is never wrong. I dont think it matters whether its between a man and a woman, two men or two women. The things we do are just acts, but how we treat each other is how God will judge us."
"So we just shared an act?" I asked, my turn to have that teasing tone.
"Several." McKayla winked. Her hand went to the back of my neck. I tilted my head back and opened my mouth. Her tongue intertwined with mine. "And I plan on sharing many more with you later today."
"Mmmmmm," I purred. "That sounds like a plan."
"What do you want to do now?" McKayla asked. "Finish breakfast?"
"Maybe later," I said seductively. "I think you need to pray some more."
"Pray?" she gave me a quizzical look.
"Yes, sweetheart, youre going to pray."
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Taking her hand, I pulled her toward the bedroom. "Are you ready? Repeat after me . . . Oh, god . . . OH! God . . . Oh, GOD!"
We laughed and fell into each others arms.
***********************
That night, I tried to convince McKayla to call in sick with me the next day, but she had some important meetings. I had to be at work early, too, so I headed home late Sunday. I also needed some time to think.
What was I doing? My feelings for McKayla were becoming stronger. There was definitely an attraction between us, and not just because of the sex. I was intrigued by her intelligence. She was interested in the world. We talked about nearly everything. She was funny. She was kind. The only way she could have been more perfect was if she spent her weekends volunteering at a shelter for homeless kids and donated a kidney to a random stranger.
Yet a little part of me wondered if I was willing to completely change my lifestyle. I felt some of that while at church and out in public with her. I felt like people were staring at us. Judging us. Judging me.
I felt so alone that night. Laying in my bed, without her arms around me, I wished she were there to comfort me. I had never felt that way with anyone before. Even with my ex, for the two years we were together, I dont ever remember wanting him touching me as I slept. And there I was, missing the gentle touch of my female lover.
A part of me wanted to call her, but would that make me come off as being desperate? Or would that scare her off? After all, McKayla was already cautious of relationships; the last thing I wanted to do was smother her. So I lay there alone, counting sheep and wishing my lover was next to me.
When I finally fell asleep, it was only bundled up under my heavy comforter and surrounded by pillows. They were poor surrogates for my raven-haired beauty with the charming smile and tender touch.
The next day, I had lunch with Allyson and Bretlynn. We met at the Chinese place in the strip mall. I didnt say much. They seemed to be staring at me.
"Sooooo?" Bretlynn asked, finally breaking the tension. "How was it?"
"Dont you mean, How was she?" Ally snickered.
My face flushed with embarrassment.
The other girls hand slammed down on the table. "I knew it! McKayla had the exact same look this morning when she came in!"
I looked away, worried that the other people in the restaurant might be staring.
"You mean the I-just-got-some look?" Bretlynn grinned.
"Stop it!" I said with no threat in my voice. The other girls spent the rest of the meal teasing me and trying to get me to blush some more. They succeeded.
Allyson pulled me aside as we were leaving. Her face suddenly turned serious. "Amberle, I dont know what you did to her, but shes got
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